A woman says she only has “transactional” relationships with men, charging up to £8k a month for her time and sees every interaction with a bloke as a form of “sex work”.
Vudu Dahl, 27, grew up in a strict household, with an abusive stepfather, which caused her to have feelings of “misandry” from age 10.
As she got older and started dating men, she became increasingly angered by the way she was treated, and felt like she was just being used and discarded.
Then, Vudu, from Los Angeles, California, discovered sugar dating – where one person, a ‘sugar baby’ receives money or gifts in exchange for intimacy or companionship with a ‘sugar daddy’ – in 2017, and loved that the purely transactional nature of the relationships meant that there were no ambiguities and everybody got what they wanted.
Vudu now gets all of her expenses paid by sugar daddies and charges up to £8,000 a month for men to spend time with her.
She said that although she does not hate men, she doesn’t trust them, and believes that the patriarchy doesn’t allow them to express themselves properly.
Vudu, a sugar baby,said: “I was raised to put men on a pedestal, and from being a child was told that my only value was to get married and have kids.
“My stepfather was incredibly abusive, and I didn’t have any examples of good men around me.
“The fact that women are supposed to worship men that abuse them made me have feelings of misandry from around age 10.
“When I started going on dates with men, I didn’t like how I was being treated, and felt like I was being used, but I still craved male validation.
“So many men I have experienced see women as objects, and like we are beneath then. Then I discovered sugar dating, and the whole course of my life was completely altered.
“I felt like I was finally treated with respect, even though it was in a transactional way.
“I liked how straightforward the relationships were. I think anytime you’re dealing with a man, it’s a form of sex work, as the expectations are always the same.
“Even marriage is a form of sex work, it just has better PR.
“Sugar daddies pay my rent. I met one sugar daddy who paid off all of my student loan.
“I charge £400 to £600 an hour, or £8,000 a month for people I see often.
“I don’t hate men or think they’re inferior, I just don’t trust them, and think they are raised in a way that doesn’t allow them to express themselves, and be emotional.
“I get a lot of push back on my views from men, they call me a whre, but they just can’t afford my hourly rate.”
Vudu grew up in a strict household, where she was taught that her main purpose in life was to get married and have children.
“I was taught that it was my job to cook and clean, and that I had to stay a virgin until marriage,” she said.
She said her late stepfather was abusive and as Vudu was home-schooled, she lived a very sheltered life and wasn’t exposed to any outside influences, so had no examples of “good men”.
Seeing how she was supposed to worship an abuser made her angry from a young age, and she began having feelings of misandry (contempt for men) from age 10.
When Vudu was 18, she ended up engaged to a man who shared similar traditional values to her family, which furthered her feelings of contempt towards men.
When the engagement ended, she entered the dating scene and was left confused as she still craved male attention but didn’t like how she was being treated by men.
She felt like men were using her and taking advantage of her, before she was “discarded”.
“I would sleep with them and then they would ghost me,” she said.
Then, in 2017, Vudu discovered sugar dating, and her view on relationships completely shifted.
She liked that the relationships with her sugar daddies were extremely straight forward, and that there were no blurred lines as to what the relationship was.
“They wanted to spend time with me, and in exchange, I wanted money, it was very straightforward,” she said.
Over the years, Vudu would go back and forth from being in real relationships, to just transactional ones, but after being diagnosed as autistic, realised that transactional relationships just made so much more sense to her – as there was no ambiguity.
She now exclusively has transactional relationships with men, which she said she finds fulfilling, as she is “quite a materialistic person”.
“Every time I’ve tried proper dating it’s just felt like a huge waste of time,” she said.
Her sugar daddies are often older, rich men, some of whom are married.
“I stay at their house, go to dinner with them, even travel with them,” she said.
Vudu sees every interaction she has with a man as “sex work” as she believes there is always an expectation of sex.
As Vudu is pansexual, she could see herself in the future having a long-term relationship with a woman but prefers transactional relationships in general as they make her feel “empowered”.
Vudu shares her story on @iamvududahl, and whilst she gets a lot of “solidarity” from women, has had some pushback on her views from men, who have called her a “w***e”.
However, she doesn’t let these comments get to her and chooses to just brush them off.
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