If you have a problem that needs solving and you don’t know where to turn, look no further.
Every day, the Daily Star’s very own agony aunt Jane O’Gorman is on hand to tackle your issues and concerns with some straight-talking but sound advice.
From bedroom confessions to self-confidence issues , drug use and everything else, Jane has helped thousands of Daily Star readers over the years and isn’t slowing down.
If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.
Sleazy hotel
My partner has sex with women as well as me.
We’ve been together for three years and she recently admitted that she’s had sex with dozens of girls behind my back.
She wants to clear the air and for me to forgive her so that we can try for a baby. If she’s so interested in women, then why isn’t she with one full time?
I need to know where I stand. She seems to think that she can suddenly come out with this bombshell and I’ll roll over because she’s beautiful and she knows I adore her. How does that work? Whatever happened to loyalty and commitment? I thought she loved me.
It turns out that she was with another woman, in a sleazy hotel room, the day I collapsed at work and my boss thought I was having a heart attack. I’m fine now – but very confused.
JANE SAYS: Is she prepared to give up all other loves and dedicate herself solely to you? Cheating is cheating whichever way your girlfriend dresses it up. If she’s been sneaking around, having sex with a large number of other individuals, then she must understand that you will question the long-term validity of this relationship.
Would she have told you about her other lovers if she wasn’t so keen on having a baby? Explain that you need time to digest everything she’s told you and you won’t be hurried into making any long-term plans.
I worry that this is the not the stable home in which to bring in a vulnerable child.
You cannot allow yourself to be used to satisfy her need to become a mother.
Sex block
My husband and I got married three months ago but still haven’t consummated our marriage.
We’ve got a sex block. He cannot maintain an erection and I’m becoming increasingly frustrated. We were fine before our big day. Now we’re like strangers in the night. I have tried to instigate sex, but he’s started saying it ‘isn’t worth it’ and pushing me away.
The other night I did the whole sexy undies trick; he took one look, said: “Pathetic” and went down the pub.
I’ve never felt more undesirable in my life.
JANE SAYS: It’s vital that you speak to him away from the bedroom to break this stalemate. If he is physically or mentally unwell, then he must be encouraged to visit his GP.
Alternatively, if he has another lover or debts on his mind – or is confused about his true sexuality – then you deserve to hear the truth.
Make it clear that you love him and want to be supportive but must know where you stand. Is he willing to go back to early nights and some serious flirting and wooing? Ultimately, however, you must decide how much you’re prepared to put up with.
I’m an embarrassment
I’ve been told that I’m annoying to be around.
I consider myself to be an upbeat person, but apparently, I do people’s heads in. A close friend has announced that she’ll never go drinking with me again because I’m too embarrassing.
Another three have de-friended me from social media. What’s wrong with people?
JANE SAYS: Maybe you do come on too strong?
Are you guilty of playing up in public to draw attention to yourself? Learn from this. Remember that not everyone else is flying high; people have busy, stressful lives. This is not about your friends being miserable, but you considering those around you.
Accept that you have annoyed people and, either, get professional help or vow to change the way you operate, otherwise you’ll find yourself alone.
#girlfriend #romped #woman #thought #heart #attack
